Beginning Anew: Forgiving & Starting Fresh
Because we are interconnected, interpersonal beings, to truly START FRESH & begin anew this year we'll have to get clear on ways our relations with others have fell flat, been neglected, or feel out of tune. Places and spaces in our heart-mind we are holding on to the story of hurt, of disregard, or aversion to the way someone else's actions have landed in our field.
I really love the process of spending time at the outset of each year contemplating the strength, resiliency, and the tolerance of my relationships - and the holes in the field where I keep trying to stomp past but inevitably fall into.
If I want to feel lighter or more boundless in 2025, I'll have to leave behind the dense material of resentment and the human drama. I'll have to acknowledge where I was wrong (that one time).I'll have to utter that magical mantra, I'M SORRY.
We will have to forgive.
Forgiveness is an act of profound liberation: it's not to condone or forget but to release oneself from the web that caught us in the narrative of past harm.
In the relational realm, drama arises from attachment to roles and unmet needs—material woven from our egoic parts desire to protect and assert itself. Yet, when we choose to start fresh, we transcend the density of these constructs. We can then perceive the shared vulnerability at the heart of all beings, to see beyond the surface of actions to the profound truths of fear, longing, and humanity.
In Buddhism, there's a specific practice called Beginning Anew which is so timely for the ringing in of 2025. It's a practice to get real about who we've hurt or unskillfully entangled with, to transform ignorance and wrong actions, and to cultivate a mind of love.
BEGINNING ANEW WITH SOMEONE ELSE:
In Beginning Anew with someone you've had difficulty with, you'll want to follow these 4 steps:
-Flower watering (acknowledgements: what do you admire about this person?)
-Sharing regrets and acknowledging unskillfulness.
-Sharing where suffering has arisen (Expressing a hurt)
-Asking for support around ongoing transformation or a long-term difficulty.